NFL

Jed York spent the first minute of his press conference apologizing for a 2-14 season.

“This season was frustrating on a number of levels. We took a step back from our ultimate goal of winning a Super Bowl. For that, I want to apologize to our fans and for everybody that cares deeply about this team the way I do.”

Oh, wait. That was from LAST YEAR’S press conference. Sorry, I feel like Bill Murray smacking an alarm clock at 6 am. Here’s today’s apology.

“First, I want to let the fans know that I apologize for a 2-14 season. I apologize for being back here again and making a change, but I think it’s very important that we reestablish a championship culture.”

Truly groundbreaking stuff. The closest he came to admitting fault came when he was asked what went wrong.

“My vision of Chip and Trent working together. I think it’s clear that Trent probably has more of a defensive mind. Pairing him with an offensive-minded guy, having those guys be partners and working together and being able to scout players that fit Chip’s system and being able to do things that build a defense and have a championship caliber defense, which Trent has been a part of … That’s sort of the vision that I saw. But the marriage didn’t work. I should’ve probably seen it. It’s easy to play revisionist history. But we are where we are. And that’s why we’re cleaning the slate and we’re reestablishing that culture.”

That wasn’t the first time he sidestepped any discussions about past missteps either, as he dismissed those decisions as “revisionist history” when he wasn’t going out of his way to fill out the Jed York Bullshit Bingo cards I created this morning. It’s hard to believe one man can say “championship culture” that many times, but that’s our Jed!

And he’ll be our Jed forever and ever. If you’re looking for Jed’s money quote of the year, here it is.

Here’s the full quote, which came after Lowell Cohn pressed Jed’s buttons, which led York to go off script to deliver his “win with class”-ian quotable moment of 2017.

“I’m the owner of this football team. You don’t dismiss owners. I’m sorry that that’s the facts and that’s the case, but that’s the fact. And I’m going to do everything I can to get this right. This isn’t about a business and running an operation to make money. We’re making sure that we’re doing everything that we can to reestablish this culture.”

All we wanted to know was whether he would be making the calls on who those employees will be, and he said he will.

“It’s got to be a partnership. It’s got to be a collaboration between me, the head coach and the general manager, so we can get this thing right.”

Lots of “me” mentions in this press conference. Not as many as “culture,” but close. That’s what happens when you’re in a bubble, worrying about things like what the national guys (Adam Schefter, Ian Rapoport, Jay Glazer and Peter King most of all), cabana height, and how to mask the fact that you’re bald. (Take it from someone who knows all too well about this process, Jed — get some clippers, or even a razor, and cut off the sad remnants of what was once a full head of hair. You won’t regret it, trust me.)

When pressed on how he’d go about “getting this right,” York said a bunch of gobbledygook about finding a GM and head coach who work well together, have similar football philosophies, battle for each other and more blah blah blah. Great, Jim Tomsula and Trent Baalke worked so well together that Tomsula allowed Baalke to coach the defensive backs. That went swimmingly! And every single person who knew a little about Baalke and Kelly was able to predict a year ago that they would be friction.

Would Tom Gamble serve as a conduit between Baalke and Kelly? Will Kelly try to usurp Baalke and take over personnel duties? Will Baalke leak stuff about Kelly to the media? Will Baalke’s advocates smear Kelly on their own? 

These questions were asked from the moment Kelly was hired. Hell, I knew Baalke would be the next scapegoat from the moment Kelly was hired. And I was far from the only one.

We just didn’t know Kelly would join him as the second scapegoat. Not a year ago, anyway.

***

What else? Oh yeah … there will be no president of football operations! York tersely reminded the assembled media that Al Guido (a business guy who handles stadium stuff, not actual football matters) is the team president. As for Paraag Marathe, he’ll be a part of the search. Of course he will.

It’s not that the Jedster has no idea what he’s going to do. The problem is it’s obvious that his plan is to keep doing Jed things while making no fundamental changes to the team’s overall mindset or power structure, and one of these years he’ll strike gold again like he did with Harbaugh (and take all of the credit).

He’ll probably go after the Patriots guys, and if that works he’ll look as smug as ever during his next press conference. But the smart money is on him failing to land his first or second choices, and ending up with some Plan C guys who worked for the Browns in prior years. Then they’ll be set up to fail, and we’ll see Jed hold the same “I just fired someone, and I apologize for their failures” press conference a year from now. Maybe two years if things go better than expected.

“There are no sacred cows here. Whether that’s in the personnel department, on the coaching staff, in the locker room.”

“Except MEEEEEEEE!!!”

***

Nothing says “class” like letting your players know that their boss was fired via text.

***

Final bingo tally

  • On The Same Page: 6
  • Championship Culture: 5
  • Accountable: 5
  • Bill Walsh: 5
  • Get It Right: 3
  • Spend What It Takes: 2 (We’ll accept “We’re going to spend the money to win” and “our general manager and head coach will have the opportunity to spend it however they wish”)
  • Cap Space: 1 (We’re going to accept his mention of “cap room”)
  • My Uncle: 1
  • Paraag: 1
  • Reset: 1
  • Class: 0
  • Clean House: 0 (he said “clean slate” three times)
  • Disconnect: 0
  • Mutually Part Ways: 0
  • Leaks: 0 (Jed wouldn’t say the word in response to a question about leaks)
  • High Draft Pick: 0
  • It’s On Me: 0
  • Injuries: 0
  • Social Media: 0
  • Levi’s Stadium: 0
  • Airplanes Flying Over My Head: 0
  • Win The Press Conference: 0
  • Football People: 0
  • Faithful: 0
  • Leadership: 0

About the Author: Insidethe49

Insidethe49 Site Staff

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